My (abortion) Blog

My two year blog-aversary has come and gone with the end of August. Yes, I am a bit behind on the celebration.

All in all I'm pretty satisfied with the endeavor and the support that I've gotten from friends and family over the last 25 months. I haven't always had time to post as many entry's as I would like to and I've definitely had spells of neglect where I can't produce something worth reading. At times I feel like going back and deleting everything but I don't- if 3 people read it or no people I'm content with what I've put out there. My favorite posts are when I can produce a cohesive picture and opinion on a subject that people usually shy away from.

Early on I wrote about Rape Revenge Fantasy's citing films from the past right up to current releases. This was brought on by the popularity of the book The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and a kick ass article from bitch magazine.

My most viewed post was when I wrote about a support group for women who were "addicted" to masturbation- The Dirty Girl's Ministries was probably stumbled upon by some Google users who weren't necessarily looking to read an analyses of misguided sexual self help.

Most of my writing has something to do with Abortion and that has been my intent. I aim to give the abortion debate historical and personal context. I have referenced my own abortion once or twice and always to express the gratitude that I have for the circumstances which allowed me to obtain a very safe and legal procedure which is something that many women aren't able to do. Here I will do it again.

I was (thankfully) 18 years old in a state that requires parental notification from minors or a court order to circumvent that. At the time I did not want my parents to be involved and while I did tell them about it several years later the option not to was a great asset to me.

I had insurance that may have paid for the procedure (at least in part) but given the fact that I chose not to involve my parents that wasn't an option. I had a part time job and through splitting the cost with my boyfriend at the time and the ability to borrow from our friends we were able to come up with the $400 some odd dollars pretty quickly. I was never afraid that I wouldn't be able to come up with the money in time as many women are.

I had a dear friend to take me to the clinic and who sat there during the whole time, drove me home and check in on me throughout the day.

The experience at the clinic is one that I'll save for another day- though I will say that I had an amazing female doctor, was treated with respect and dignity and the women who held my hand throughout the procedure was kind and assured me that I would be back in school studying hard and bettering myself and the world the day after next.

I am also fortunate enough to know without a doubt that this was the right choice for me to make. To say I never questioned the possibility of carrying the fetus to term would be untrue but it was never a real deterrent to the fact that I 100% did not want to give birth and for me being pregnant was a debilitating condition that was nearly unbearable. I didn't have to face the agonizing process of determining whether or I would be able to afford to feed the children I already had or if the father would support me or if any faction of government would get to weigh in on the most intimate happenings of my body. I am also incredibly thankful that I never had to worry about the actual procedure being performed by someone who didn't know what they were doing with dirty equipment.

I write/talk openly about my abortion now because it isn't something that I am ashamed of. It isn't something that I have to defend and most of all I got to do it 100% the way I wanted to without any interference from anyone. Even more importantly, I write about it because there are women who have none of the rights that I did and more over those that do are at risk of losing them. I could go on forever about that topic and there in lies one of the reasons I started this blog. I don't expect anyone's opinion to change or that I'll receive a pat on the back for talking about my abortion- but I'm not afraid to share something that so many women experience for better or worse because as human beings we deserve the right to decide what happens to our bodies- no matter what.