Bikini Barista

As the manager of a small busy coffee shop I have a plethora of stories about burning myself, spilling a latte down the front of my jeans and sticking a thermometer half an inch through my palm. These fun filled accidents all occurred while I was fully clothed and properly shod. Sorry to shock but in some places a fully covered coffee server apparently isn't a given anymore.

Besides the fact that scalding hot coffee and bare flesh don't mix; it seems that no area of service can be safe from the quick gimmick of putting women in a bikini. This current craze apparently started in Seattle (surprise) around 2007 and quickly spread to other west coast areas like L.A. and Washington State. These coffee shops are usually stand-alone shacks along roadsides or in parking lots, often noticeable for their signs and suggestive names - "some like it hot," for example at "Java Jugs."

This summer in Denver a coffee shop called "Perky Cups" drew boy cotters after the owner sent bikini clas women workers out into the shopping center that housed them. In Everett, Washington, several baristas were charged with flashing customers and striping while preparing drinks. One of the ideas behind these stands are to stand out amongst the tough competition with more traditional business models like Starbucks. These drive through shacks span a wide range of risque to down right disgusting. First of all, I am surprised that Health Inspectors or regulators have not pointed out the fact that walking around in a g-string making a latte with your long hair flowing down your back doesn't sound like a sanitary way to pull espresso shots. Far from the main point you should at the very least have your hair tied back.

Also, is it really believable that the same pick-up driving "gentlemen" pulling through the "Grab n Go" espresso stand would saunter into a Starbucks for their Au lait if not for the scantily clad female workers? I'm sure these girls are judged by the micro foam of their lattes and not the buoyancy of their upper halves.

I am not opposed to women choosing to work in the sex, stripping, pornography or adult industry if they are opting in by their complete free will. I wouldn't go so far as to say that its empowering but that is one of the reasons that I don't pursue a career in that field. I also, fortunately have a choice.I don't believe that women are so repressed as to be unable to make decisions for themselves but I do believe it is a product of supply and demand. As long as their are men who want their lattes, beer, liquor, rented movies, dry cleaning etc... served up by a barely dressed young lady, there will be women to fill those positions and make good money while working with minimal clothing. I don't believe those men are going anywhere anytime soon and I don't think the logic behind making money off of you looks from those who are willing to give can be entirely faulted.

Personally, as a barista, the idea of attracting customers by wearing a bikini makes me gag in the back of my throat. I don't think that the technical aspects of being a barista is rocket science but I do think you should buy your coffee based on taste not by the amount of flesh bared through a drive through window. Given that my trusty black tank top is the skimpiest thing I rock behind the counter, I am left to believe even in my case the new customers and regulars who don't quite look me in the eye when ordering (think lower) are there not just for the fair trade coffee. Of course, some do a better job at concealing that fact than others.

Coffee shops are one of the many places where creepy people ogle fully dressed female baristas. In the last three years I can count at least a dozen "creepers" who make transactions awkward and uncomfortable. Leering old men, assholes on their phones who literally throw money at you and sometimes ask the mind boggling question of "do you want to go out for coffee sometime?"

So boo bikini baristas, you're burning yourselves, irritating communities, getting treated like shit by some and mocked by others. Good luck with this ridiculous craze. I'm sure you're making great tips but I'd rather focus on serving great coffee.